Monday, April 14, 2008

Thank You From The Depths of Hell

Just seeing that little quip from the front of a greeting card a friend gave me not that long ago brings a big nostalgic smile to my face...

She was in a dark place and I was trying to cheer her up with a simple little gift; a bucket, a shovel, dollar store flip flops and directions to 'the beach' if I remember correctly. She was touched hence the above mentioned card that made me weep.

Well, hell is not where I reside but I can definitely see it from here! I can't ever remember a darker time in my life.

I'm about to fail at the most important thing I've ever set out to do and if I do, I'll be letting down the two most important people in my life. In the middle of all this I've been severely let down by several of the most important people in my life. What makes it even worse is that all of the hurt and disappointment stems from the best of intentions on my part. All the important decisions I've made in recent days have all blown up in my face. All of them were decisions I made with integrity and were designed to honor others. In fact I don't ever remember making any choices in a more selfless way. I'm still reeling and don't have the first clue what to do next...

There has been one bright spot in the midst of all the despair. Johnny Depp is making a movie right here in our little neck of the woods! Not only that but a great group of folks have been providing a wonderful, accepting, non-judgemental atmosphere for sharing in all the excitement. So, to Rod and Diane and Jenny and the rest of the Public Enemies - Columbus folk...

Thank you from the depths of Hell... The inside of the card reads: 'Somehow, "Thank you from the bottom of my heart" just didn't seem deep enough.' Those are my sentiments exactly. = )

9 comments:

Suz said...

Hang tough, girl. I'll say a prayer, and make a wish for you. :)

Kathy said...

Thanks for your nice comment on my blog! I had to visit you and wish you well, also. Hang in there! And let JD keep you smiling.

Kathy

Jenny said...

Looks like Public Enemies is the bright spot in both of our lives right now :)

dj said...

I'm so sorry things aren't going so good right now. BUT I am a firm believer that life has a goofy way of turning things around!

(Even though we have no way of knowing the how, why or when!) :)

I'll be thinking of you!! In the meantime what crazy fun are we having with this movie, eh?

Take care of yourself! *hugs* :)

-Diane

shakenbsis said...

Diane - thanks for your encouragment. Also thanks for that FUN comment you just posted on PEC = ) I was just sitting here having a hard time getting motivated. I have this one good weather day to head up to Oshkosh and HERE i sit! After reading your comment about Rod being in the drivers seat I jsut started giggling, I'm not sure exactly what I find funny about that, but... = ) (hopefully he isn't forced to make a run for it!) he he

Osh said...

keep blogging! blogging has probably been the only thing keeping me from adding "big fat drunk" in addition to all the other things in my blog header!

I have always wanted to adopt, instead I got married.

Good luck and peace.

Anonymous said...

There's another Suz?! : )

Guess I can be anonymous now.

ANYway, I know some of your pain, as you know I've experienced those depths as well.

No place for judging, but I love you and miss you!!!

...from the depths of Hell...to the heights of Heaven! ...someday. :0)

shakenbsis said...

AnonSuz - Its the gift that keeps on giving and only YOU know what I mean!!! = )

Anonymous said...

: ) I love you girl!

All those things you did with the best of intentions... I just know that beauty will be made from these ashes. But being 'ashy' is no fun at all...boy do I know! Keep the faith, hold on tight and don't take no for an answer.

AnonSuz